Hello all & I hope your start to 2026 has been a great one.

This time of year, many families find themselves thinking about change. Changing calendars, changing goals, jobs or even changing how much time we spend on our phones. There is usually a lot of hope in these change making conversations. A conversation I'm having a lot with my therapy clients revolves around changes that will help us feel a little less stressed this year. Can you relate?

Setting a goal to decrease stress isn't glamorous, really that fun, or something we can brag about to our friends. It gets overlooked cause it lives in the background of our lives. While that is true it nearly influences every aspect of our lives. Stress plays a role in enjoying our relationships, our ability to sleep well, if we blow up at our families, how much we crave our vices, and literally every other aspect of our lives. If we don't work on our stress we turn into the version of ourselves we often disrespect. While working on stress is considered the "boring stuff" it is the "important stuff".

So what actually helps when it comes to stress?

Research consistently points away from dramatic/big changes and towards far more ordinary objectives. A University of Michigan study published in the Journal of Family Psychology (2020) followed 184 families with teenagers between the ages of 13 and 17. Families who practiced a recurring ritual—shared dinners, weekly walks, a standing movie night—showed nearly 40% fewer symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression. (40% is mind blowing when you realize that antidepressants, cognitive behavioral therapy, and other modalities are not even that high!)

From a mental health perspective, there is a couple key components to understand. The nervous system is constantly scanning the environment for cues of safety or threat; that's its job. The nervous system doesn't care much for logic or rational. So when our lives start to feels unpredictable— i.e. when schedules shift, when we haven't connected with our friends for a bit, or consistent rhythms become inconsistent —the nervous system stays slightly “on edge,” even when nothing is overtly wrong. Then, this turns into stress.

On the other hand, consistent/predictable rhythms help our nervous system because our brains like consistency/predictability. (Side note: this is why toxic relationships are hard for people to leave because even though they are toxic, the brain feels a twisted sense of consistency being in the relationship... but that is a newsletter for another day)

The brains the ability to sense predictability is crucial for regulation. When patterns repeat, the brain learns what to expect. And the brain really likes knowing what’s next. It no longer has to stay on alert, watching for how to react to "surprises". Over time, baseline stress lowers because life becomes more predictable. It might feel boring, but from a neuroscience standpoint, boring is often exactly what helps the nervous system settle.

Environmental Clarity:

Predictable rhythms offer more than just a routine we check off a list. They create environmental clarity. This idea doesn’t get much attention in mental health conversations, but it plays a major role in emotional regulation and cognitive performance. When the environment feels stable, the brain has a anchor especially during seasons that feel heavy, loud, or uncertain. This topic gets covered in the context of child psych (specifically in foster care, adoption settings) however all our brains are created by God in the same way; we all need environmental clarity.

Quick Recap: A weekly rhythm doesn’t need to be impressive. It needs to be protected and practiced... a lot. Reliability matters far more to the brain than novelty ever will. Before adding anything new, it helps to take a look at the rhythms you already have. In other words, set goals to take that new trip, run that new race, learn that new skill -- but also set goals to commit to family dinner together, commit to date night, commit to the boring.

Stay connected,

Zach

Clinical Therapist and Founder of Mental Health 4 Men