This newsletter is designed to give you researched backed skills to improve your mental, emotional and relational lives.
Why Exercise & Weight loss Feels so difficult & MH4M Running Event Details
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Hello all, The MH4M Marathon & Running Event Starts This WeekendThis weekend, the Mental Health 4 Men Marathon officially begins... (And yes, it is still not too late to sign up.) Click here to sign up (Free Entry)! Right now, we have runners showing up from: Florida We also officially have a prize pool for the fastest 10k, with $180 currently on the table. Winner Takes all ($$$). That pot will continue to grow as more people join. Click here to join the prize pool (aka "beat blake" challenge). All this is to raise money on the Silent Witness Project and support prevention efforts for domestic violence in Kansas. Click Here to Learn more about the Silent Witness Project
We are just over 20% of our fundraising goal! So thank you to everyone who has donated! Todays Newsletter Topic: Why Exercise and Weight Change Are So Hard(And Why It’s Not a Character Flaw)When you try to change your weight or build a fitness habit, you’re not just pumping iron or counting calories. You’re asking your brain, hormones, stress system, and routines to rewrite a very old agreement about how things work within your body. The tension happens because those systems tend to resist change, not applaud it. Most men are never taught that this fight happens in the nervous system, not the character department. Before going further, an important clarification. Working toward a healthier weight or improved fitness can be a meaningful goal when it’s rooted in longevity and overall well-being. The problem is that many men are taught to pursue weight loss or fitness purely to meet external standards rather than to support long-term health (this pressure typically gets primarily talked about in referencing women, but this type of pressure is there for men as well). Health, at its best, isn’t about chasing ego. It’s about staying strong enough to play with your kids, think clearly under pressure, and having energy to do the things you want to do. When that becomes the focus, weight turns into a supporting actor, not the main character. Lets jump in... Your Brain Is Wired for Survival, Not Fitness GoalsFrom a neuroscience perspective, the brain has a very practical mandate: maintain stability & keep you alive. Your nervous system is wired to keep energy, mood, and stress within a familiar range. (KEY WORD: FAMILIAR) When exercise ramps up or body weight starts to drop, the brain doesn’t automatically read that as “healthy progress.” Instead, the hypothalamus (control center for energy balance & hormone regulation) often flags the change as a bad disruption and will start working against you and slowing all your progress down. Typically what happens is: hunger signals get louder, cravings intensify, energy levels dip -- and worst of all -- your metabolism quietly slows down. The brain is trying to restore what it considers normal, not because anything is wrong, but because unfamiliar change registers as risk. This is why early motivation can carry you at first, then fade as consistency becomes harder. Your biology begins to apply the brakes. It’s also why rigid, all-or-nothing approaches tend to collapse over time (honestly, this puts me in business as a therapist). Take away: Your brain isn’t working against you. It’s doing its job. Lasting change happens when progress stays within the range that the brain doesn’t sound the alarm. For more information check out the study done on this from the New England Journal of Medicine. Stress, Hormones, and Sleep Quietly Hijack MotivationExercise and weight regulation are deeply influenced by hormones that shift based on stress, sleep, and emotional load. When stress is chronic, your cortisol stays elevated. This increases your appetite, intensifies your cravings, and pushes your brain toward quick energy sources. At the same time, sleep deprivation disrupts your hormones making it harder to feel full (which sabotage your best discipline efforts). From a mental health lens, this means: when stressed out your brain prioritizes comfort and survival, not fitness goals. This is why men under high stress often feel “undisciplined” even though their nervous systems are simply overloaded. Regulation comes before motivation. So in 2026, if you're considering a weight loss goal, maybe throw in a regulation goal as well. Key takeaway: You can’t expect results from a nervous system that’s exhausted. For more reading on this topic check out this study done by Psychology & Behavior. So What Actually Helps....I’ve been stuck in this loop more times than I can count. Start strong. Push harder. Fall off. What has been so helpful to me (credit to James Clear & Atomic Habits) is not found in pushing harder. It’s about reducing friction and working with your brain and not against it. Here's a quick overview that can get you started... A practical shift many men find helpful is moving away from goals like “get in shape.” That kind of goal is vague, heavy, and often loaded with self-judgment. A more effective question is smaller and more humane: What would a man who cares about his mental health do today? That reframing matters. It changes what the brain is being asked to do. Instead of preparing for a test of willpower, it moves toward alignment with values. Movement also becomes easier when it stops being complicated. Shoes by the door. Short walks instead of long workouts. Options that feel doable on low-energy days. Lowering the "activation energy" reduces the likelihood that the brain shuts the whole plan down before it starts. Over time, consistency matters more than intensity. Small actions tend to feel less disruptive to your nervous system; this is more likely to be repeated. Environment plays a larger role than motivation. When healthier choices are easier to access than unhealthy ones, progress stops feeling like a moral referendum on self-control. Keep moving forward, Zach Founder of Mental Health 4 Men & Clinical Therapist What is the The Mental Health 4 Men Marathon?What the event is: How to participate: Marathoners, listen up: Complete the full 26.2 and we’ll send you a free race T-shirt.
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Mental Health 4 Men
This newsletter is designed to give you researched backed skills to improve your mental, emotional and relational lives.
Newsletter Topic: The surprising connection between what you eat and how you feel Everyone knows they “should be healthier.” But most people don’t realize how directly their diet affects their mental health. Hey all, I sat down with a guy in my office a while back who was struggling with low mood and anxiety/panic attacks that he couldn't get reprieve from. He’d tried therapy. He’d tried medication. He’d started exercising. Nothing was really working. So we looked at his eating habits. “I...
“When marriages fail, it is not increasing conflict that is the cause. It is decreasing affection and emotional responsiveness...” ― Sue Johnson Hey all, I was working with a couple months back... They'd been fighting about the same thing for three years. Dishes in the sink. Sounds trivial, right? But it wasn't really about the dishes. It was about the fact that every time he left them there, she felt invisible and her time was being disrespected. And every time she brought it up, he said...
Part 3 of 4: The science behind lasting relationships "Happy couples aren't smarter, richer, or more psychologically astute than others. But in their day-to-day lives, they have hit upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other from overwhelming their positive ones." ― John M. Gottman Hey all, Over the past two weeks, we've covered Gottman's Four Horsemen. If you missed out here are the links below. Part 1: Criticism and Contempt Part 2: Defensiveness and...