Hey all, I want to tell you about something that happened right here in Kansas this past Fourth of July that has really impacted me. But first I want to set the scene... Imagine you are 19 years old and you sign up to serve your country. You do the training. Then you deploy. And for the next eight, twelve, maybe sixteen months, your entire nervous system gets rewired around one singular biological imperative: survive. Loud noises start to become potential threats. Unfamiliar vehicle on the...
4 days ago • 4 min read
"Attachment is a unifying principle that reaches from the biological depths of our being to its furthest spiritual reaches." — Jeremy Holmes, Hey All! There’s an Harvard experiment from the early 1970s that has really shaped the way I approach each client I work with in session called “The Still Face Experiment”. A mom sits with her baby. They’re playing. Smiling. Locking eyes back and forth in that normal rhythm of connection. Then, on cue, the mom’s face goes still. Blank she stops...
12 days ago • 3 min read
Over 900 new subscribers joined this past month! Welcome! If you want to go deeper, we launched a paid tier where a portion of every subscription goes directly to domestic violence shelters. Glad you are here either way. Upgrade to Paid Tier Hey all, A guy texted me this week, two days into his family vacation, and said something that stuck with me. "I don't know what's wrong. I'm sitting on a beach with my kids and I feel nothing. I should be relaxed. I'm just numb." That sentence captures...
18 days ago • 3 min read
Over 800 new subscribers joined this month! Welcome! If you want to go deeper, we launched a paid tier where a portion of every subscription goes directly to domestic violence shelters. Glad you are here either way. Upgrade to Paid Tier Hey all, I want to tell you about a guy I worked with. We will call him Jeff. Jeff did not think he was depressed. And honestly, if you met him, you probably would not have thought so either. He showed up to work on time. He got his kids to practice. He still...
24 days ago • 3 min read
A Free Gift From the Beach Hey all, I am writing you all from the beach! So this week is going to look a little different. No research or five step protocol. Just a free resource I want to put in your hands. This Week's Free Resource: The Four A's of Acceptance One of the benefits of our paid subscription tier is access to a growing library of clinical worksheets I have built for the people I work with in therapy. This week I am opening one of them up to everyone on the list, free of charge....
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Over 600 new subscribers joined this month! Welcome! For those of you who have been around, thank you for sharing this with people you care about; that is the only reason this grows. If you want to go deeper, we launched a paid tier where a portion of every subscription goes directly to domestic violence shelters. Glad you are here either way. Upgrade to Paid Tier The Man With the Dull Axe Hey all, I want to tell you an old parable. Two men headed into the woods at sunrise with one job: chop...
about 1 month ago • 4 min read
I have to brag for a second. The woman who wrote this piece is my wife. She is a physician, a mother of two incredible kids, and somehow the most grounded and loving person I have ever met. We met at Camp Quaker Haven in 2005; literally two kids who had no idea what life had in store. I had no idea I was meeting the woman who would make me a better man & that I would marry. She wrote this because she means every word of it. Read it slowly. She worked hard on it and she deserves your full...
about 2 months ago • 4 min read
What If Your Mood Problem Is Actually a Protein Problem? "The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled." — Plutarch Hey all, I was walking through the grocery store last week when I stopped in my tracks in the cereal aisle. Protein Pop-Tarts. I stood there for a moment just taking it in. Picked up the box. Put it back. Kept walking. Then I turned the corner into the chip aisle. Protein Doritos. I am not making this up. We have protein Doritos now. Nacho Cheese flavor. 10...
about 2 months ago • 4 min read
Without Integrity, What Do We Actually Have? The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity. — Proverbs 11:3 Hey all, We live in a world where integrity is praised loudly and rarely practiced. Integrity shows up in mission statements, slogans, acceptance speeches, and LinkedIn bios. Everybody is seeming to claim it. But watch what happens when it actually costs something. When telling the truth means losing the room. When keeping your word means...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
What daily habits actually make a difference for your brain? "That's your best friend and worst enemy - your own brain" - Fred Durst Hey all! A few weeks ago I was scrolling through a article written by a neuroscientist (a real one, PhD and everything) listing her daily non-negotiables for brain health. Drink water. Get sunshine. Smile more. Go to bed. I kept reading waiting for the research. It never came. I was confused... we are living in a golden era of neuroscience. The last three years...
2 months ago • 5 min read
